Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Or are you an ambivert? What's the difference? Well, read on...
Misconceptions
Both introverts and extroverts have acquired some negative stereotypes. For example some people think introverts are shy, quiet wallflowers who suffer from social anxiety. And extroverts are overbearing blowhards who never stop talking.
The reality is that most of us aren't just one personality type (introvert or extrovert). And although there isn't a lot of research yet on ambiversion, it's believed that most of us (as much as 90%) are ambiverts and fall somewhere in the middle of the continuum between introversion and extroversion.
Shyness, on the other hand, is not a personality trait. It’s an emotion, usually rooted in low self-esteem. People who are shy tend to feel uncomfortable or anxious in social situations, especially with strangers. They may become so nervous it affects them physically (e.g. increased heart rate, sweats, stomachache). They may skip social events to avoid these negative reactions.
Introverts will often skip social events too, but they do so because they just prefer to be alone, or in smaller groups. Are there some introverts who are shy? Of course. But not all introverts are shy.
It’s said that introverts think and extroverts speak. This too is an oversimplification. Obviously extroverts think. It's just that they get off on social interaction and this often involves talking. But they can get bored with small talk, just like introverts. And introverts can certainly talk, and do, if the subject interests them. And they’re comfortable doing so.
What Is an Introvert?
Introverts get their energy internally. You're introspective, and process things best when you're alone. You prefer solitary pursuits. You're most comfortable and thrive when you're alone. You enjoy spending time with one or two people rather than a group. You like meaningful conversations, but dislike small talk.
Characteristics include the following:
- You're a natural listener.
- You enjoy alone time.
- You avoid conflict.
- You consider things carefully.
- You take time to make decisions.
- You're creative.
- You need quiet to concentrate.
- You are reflective and self-aware.
- You don't like group work.
- You prefer to write rather than talk.
- You feel tired after being in a crowd.
- You have a few close friends.
- You retreat into your own mind to rest.
What Is an Extrovert?
Extroverts get their energy from the outside world. Too much alone time drains you and makes you feel listless. You feel most comfortable in a group setting. You like to think out loud and problem-solve with others. You tend to be very talkative, sociable, active, and warm.
Characteristics include the following:
- You enjoy working in a group.
- You're always up to trying new things.
- You can be impulsive.
- You like to talk through problems.
- You make friends easily.
- You tend to be described as energetic.
- You're outgoing.
- You thrive on being the center of attention.
- You are comfortable with unfamiliar situations.
- You spearhead group outings.
- You rarely turn down an invitation to a party or gathering.
- You're adaptable.
- You're easily distracted.
Ambivert vs. Omnivert
An ambivert has both introversion and extroversion traits. An omnivert, on the other hand can exhibit either introverted or extroverted traits, depending on the situation or mood.
Which Are You?
Scientist don't know for sure what, if anything, causes introversion or extroversion. Where we fall on the continuum depends on multiple factors, such as genetics, environment, and personal experiences.
It's also not always clear-cut where you fall on the personality spectrum. You may be more extroverted at work and more introverted at home (omnivert). You may be good in social settings and at being alone. You may be a good listener and a good conversationalist (ambivert).
Think about your life. When are you most comfortable? Are you more energized when you’re alone or with others? There are no right or wrong answers. Neither extroversion nor introversion is better than the other. It's just what feels best for you. If you aren't sure where you fall, ask those close to you for their observations.
I think most of my friends and family are ambiverts, leaning toward extrovert. In fact, I can think of only one person in my current social circle who might be an introvert. Interesting. I never noticed that before.
Personality traits aren't set in stone either. They can change over a lifetime. You may have been more introverted as a child and more extroverted as an adult.
Personal Journey
I think I was very introverted as a child, as well as being painfully shy. I overcame my shyness sometime in my twenties. By my thirties and into my forties I was as extroverted as I was going to get. I made a concerted effort to try new things and meet new people. I also did a lot of travel.
Once I hit my fifties though, and started slowing down, I seem to have reverted back to my more introverted ways. Staying home more and socializing less. I was always an introvert to some extent. But now I'm pretty much all introvert. Who knows. Maybe it will change again.
How about you? Do you know what you are? Has it ever changed?
Sources
Loved this blog. I learned a lot. I’m definitely an introvert. This article was very educational. Lw
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